Monday, September 11, 2017

Grandparent's day

                                 The other day I was wondering, how come there is no GrandParent's day, when there is a Mother's day and Father's day? Grandparents also play an important role in a child upbringing then how come we don't dedicate a day for them and celebrate? So I looked online and found out that September 11th is grandparent's day.

                                  Now another question came to my mind, these days most of the grand parents are actually taking the role of parents for a lot of reasons like:

  • Parents going through divorce
  • Both parents are working and have busy schedules
  • Parents are going through drug abuse
  • Early marriage of parents and no financial stability
So whatever be the reason, they have taken the place of parents. So should we celebrate them on Mother's day or Father's day or Grandparents day?

             Changing times in the society has changed the responsibilities of grandparents. Let us see some of the new roles of grandparents:
  1. Baby sitter : We all agree that world is not so safe anymore to raise kids. There are too many big bad wolves out there. We hear so many cases where kids are abused/assaulted. So it is hard to trust anyone. Then who are the most trusted baby sitters? Grand parents. What used be an occasional job for them now has become permanent. It is not like you are just keeping an eye on the kids while they are doing their work. This job comes with too many responsibilities like picking/dropping kids at school, helping with studies, playing with them, taking them for playdates, feeding them, giving them bath, putting them to bed, taking care of them when they are sick etc.. Basically they do everything a parent does for his/her kid. 
  2. Supervisor: While you are at it, why not mange the house and make sure everything is in order.
  3. Security guard: Protect the kids and also the house so nothing goes awry.
  4. Cook/Nutritionist : Make sure the kids are fed a well nourished diet and are healthy.
  5. Maid (Occasionally): Oh the maid has taken off today, no worries, grandma to the rescue to make sure the house is spick and span.
  6. Money Bank: Sometimes people have kids very early in their marriages  when they are not financially settled yet. At that time the burden falls on grandparents, who pitch in to help raise the kids. 
            Now when grandparents take the role of a caregiver , their lifestyle or situations change in a lot of ways:

  • No social life because your whole time is dedicated to the child care.
  • Become a disciplinarian. Previously when kids had a problem with parents or they have something that they can't tell their parents, they would go to grandparents and they will listen and give a solution if possible or guide them in the right way. They were more like friends. But now grandparent  have very few chances to indulge their grandkids and have fun because they have to set rules and be strict so kids don't turn out irresponsible.
  • Poor health because of mental and physical stress. Let us all agree that they are getting old and with age comes lot of health problems. But they don't have time for selfcare so they always feel tired and overworked.
  • No retirement life. Lot of grandparents postpone stuff like travel, hobbies etc. to post retirement period because of personal and professional commitments. But they can't pursue all that because now responsibilities have doubled.
  • Repeat everything they did with their kids. Once a parent always a parent. Do everything all over again. 

            I am not suggesting to keep grandparents away from grandkids. A lot of grandparents happily volunteer to do all the above tasks and will never ever complain. Also having grandparents around has lot of benefits and creates a positive environment for kids. They can learn family values, history and culture, life lessons etc. from grandparents. 

            All I am suggesting is grand parents also deserve a break once in a while and don't take them for granted. Spend quality time with them. Make them feel valued and not used. Appreciate them and respect them. 

         Happy Grandparent's day to all the sweetest grandparents around the world!!!!

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

English is just a language

Before I write my views about this, let me clarify, I have nothing against the language. I use it to communicate with others. I love reading English books, watching English movies and  tv shows. I am writing my blog in English for god's sake. So no problems with the language. I love it as much as I love my mother tongue.

I get upset when English is used as a measure for someone's ability. Growing up in India, I have noticed that as soon as a person starts speaking in English he/she is considered smart and if they use fancy words then they are the smartest. Although the person who is listening to those fancy words have no clue what they mean. Then what is the point of that conversation if one of them has no clue what the other person is saying.Also I think that not everyone who speaks English is intelligent. I have read about and seen some people who are so fluent in the English but lack basic common sense. They are clueless in handling some situations. 

I agree that learning any language is not that easy. So if your mother tongue is not English then you are putting a lot of effort in learning it and to understand it you need to use your brain just like you do when you are learning a new skill. Some might take too much interest in it and some don't. But that doesn't make them less smart.

Since English is the most spoken language in the world, a lot of information you can find in the world is in English. So if you know English you have more exposure and more information. But there are few countries in this world who only speak their local languages and very rarely or never use English but they are equally smart as other English speaking countries. 

Anyways to conclude, all I want to say is English is just a language not knowledge. Just like we have so many languages in this world that we use to communicate with others, we have English too. It is not a symbol of intelligence or social status. Learn it and use it if you love the language but don't judge others if they don't. Just the other day someone posted this pic in Facebook as though they read my mind:

Monday, May 22, 2017

Economics fair project idea-Pencil toppers

My second grader's End-of-the-year homework assignment is to make something for economics fair. Each second grader need to make 20 of the same things and sell them in the fair. Kids will use their fake money and buy the items from each other. It is a good idea to teach kids about money.

We brainstormed a lot of things like
- Origami
- Soft toys using pompoms and pipe cleaners
- Slime
- Stress balls using Orbeez
- Notepads
- Bracelets

Finally we decided on making these Monster pencil toppers.

To make these you need:
Googly eyes
Pipe cleaners-20

1. Glue eyes on the pompomps
2. Cut each pipe cleaner into 2 small pieces for horns and use the rest as a tail. Stick them to pompom using glue.
3. Instead of sticking it on the pencil just wrap them around the pencil and VoilĂ  the pencil toppers are ready.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Wine bottle vase with Ostrich feathers

I converted the empty wine bottle into a vase with acrylic paints. I got inspired by this pintrest post:

Hoop earrings

I thought of trying to make something other than dangling earrings and came across a design similar to this. I made these ear rings with silver copper wire, crystal beads, silver jumprings and fish hook earring wires.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Casual but hurtful comments

Sometimes people make comments without even realizing their impact on other person. Few days back  I was at Kohl's with my daughter, Aditi. I was waiting for my turn at the checkout line. Aditi was so excited because I bought a toy for her. So she was happily humming a song. The lady behind me, who I have never met, gave a compliment that my daughter looks so cute and she is so sweet etc. After I thanked her she asked me if I have only one. I said yes and she asked me when I am going to have one more and then she started giving me suggestions that I should have one more so my daughter can have company. I just gave a smile because I didn't want to be rude to her and tell her its none of your business. She doesn't know what I went through during my pregnancy. ( I had eclampsia so they had to do emergency c-section and take Aditi out. She weighed only 750 gms when she was born . She was in NICU for 3 months and till she came home we weren't even sure if she will make it. I didn't even know I had baby for couple of days because I was unconscious cause I had seizures.)

Few days later, a friend of mine ( who was well aware of everything) told me that I am being SELFISH because I am only thinking about myself and not thinking that Aditi might be feeling lonely and I wanted to tell her " wow thank you so much for making me feel so good with your kind words. That really gave a boost to my guilty feelings. "( Aren't friends supposed to understand and support you?) Of Course I didn't say all that to her because I have a problem: I can't say rude things back to people even if they hurt me. I can't hurt them back. I just told her that we have kind of accepted the fact that we are going to have only one and to make it up to Aditi we are going to try to spend as much time as we can with her, put her in classes, have play dates, travel etc. She probably said that stuff without realizing the impact of that comment on me. She probably didn't say it with an intention to hurt my feeling. I will give  her that benefit of doubt.

But why are people so curious about other's lives instead of focussing on their own. And what's up with all these questions. First they ask when are you getting married? As soon as you get married they ask so when are you going to give the good news about baby? Once you have the baby then they ask when are we planning to have second one so the first one can have company. Things don't stop there. Questions follow even after you have your second baby. If you have two boys then the question will be 'are you going to try for a girl baby?' If you have two girls then the question will be ' are you going to try for a boy baby to carry the family name forward?' Apparently you are a complete family only if you have a boy and girl. Nonsense. Enough with this nosy business. Does it even occur to them that the person you are asking these questions might be having hard time already with their situation and you are just making things worse for them. 

I hope I never asked anybody these kind of questions and I most definitely will not and finally a piece of advice: